I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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