i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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