yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
