Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
