He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
