dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
