Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Randomize
