i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
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