is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
