The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
