It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize
