hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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