On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
