puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
