Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
