Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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