gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
