he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
