And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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