He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
