well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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