O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
