yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Randomize
