I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
