Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
