I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just gargled with NyQuil
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Randomize
