He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
