obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
