Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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