i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Also, beer. Big fan.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
