So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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