went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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