So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
