people are starting to question the shark bite story
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
