Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
