Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
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