I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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