Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
