that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
