You're completely useless in the revolution.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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