we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
