Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
