My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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