Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
