No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
