If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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