Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
