Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
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