She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Randomize
