With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
