I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
