I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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