is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
