Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
This is the high leading the old right now
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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