Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
