its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
