hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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