hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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