Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
