Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize