is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Randomize
