There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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