So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
