your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
